


Figueroth.

by comefallapart



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series), Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, i just wanted to explore her past, only kind of a character study though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26591032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comefallapart/pseuds/comefallapart
Summary: "Figueroth Faeth’s life ended the day that her horns started growing in. That might sound dramatic, but that’s truly what it felt like."A small character study looking behind the smoke and mirrors that Fig uses to conceal herself.
Relationships: Ayda Aguefort/Figueroth Faeth
Kudos: 29





	Figueroth.

**Author's Note:**

> A few things: mentions of her mother's infidelity, her relationship with Dr. Asha, smoking, and just an overall identity crisis.  
> This is fairly short, as character studies go, but I just wanted to dive into the changes she made of herself after her horns grew in. I got the idea while I was writing a song from Fig's perspective, and this helped me understand her better so I could write accurately.

Figueroth Faeth’s life ended the day that her horns started growing in. That might sound dramatic, but that’s truly what it felt like. 

Middle school was hard enough, being that age where you’re trying to figure out who you are and what you like, while every emotion and hormone in your body works to destabilize your state of mind and not yet knowing how to address any of these emotions.  
For Figueroth, it hadn’t been as bad as some had it. She was popular, and didn’t have to worry about social rejection that some of the losers had to deal with. She was getting invited to all the parties, and having fun. She was on the cheer squad with all of her friends. She was peppy and popular, just like a charismatic little wood elf should be.  
And then she discovered that after thirteen years, she wasn’t a wood elf. She was a tiefling, and everything changed. Her dad wasn’t actually her dad, he and her mom got divorced, and most importantly, she wasn’t Figueroth Faeth: the peppy, popular, charismatic wood elf. 

So she destroyed the Figueroth that everyone knew. 

She quit the cheer team, stopped going to parties, and only ever left her room when she had to. Eventually, all the friends she had stopped checking in on her. The cheer team found a new flier. She no longer was popular. For the first time, she had to deal with social rejection like the loser she realized she was. 

At the same time, she realized everyone who liked her didn’t really like her, they liked the person who they thought she was. Herself included.  
Now that things had changed—now that she had changed— she had no idea how to find people who would like her for her actual self, instead of who they just believed her to be. And for Figueroth (“no, scratch that, that’s who I was. It’s just Fig now"), it was easier to control everyone’s perception of her than risk being rejected again. 

Fig Faeth became as unlikable as she could. She became an outcast, because it was easier than fitting in. She started playing rock music and copped an attitude. She dyed her hair black, and then when it faded back to brown, added a purple streak. She started smoking.  
She couldn’t be rejected if she was already a reject.  
And it almost worked. 

But when she was sent to detention on the first day of school—lumped into the group of bad kids like she had planned on—things didn’t quite go according to plan. There was a battle, and her and the five other outcast students teamed up, and won. And somehow, she had friends again. Those bad kids became the Bad Kids. And they actually liked her. They liked the unlikable version of herself she created to avoid anyone disliking her for who she really was.  
And Fig, once again, had to figure out who she was. 

She thought that when she met Gorthalax, she’d have more answers. And she did, truthfully: she knew who her father was, she knew why he wasn’t around, and she knew why things happened the way they did. All of the questions that she had been asking had been answered. It was only then that she realized finding out who her father is was only a small part of figuring out who she was. She’s her father’s daughter, but that doesn’t answer who she was behind the walls of rebellion she had built.

She figured that the version of herself that makes honest confessions to her friends (prefaced by a disclaimer about how closed off she was, regardless of the honesty of that statement), was really her. Which means Fig likes her friends. She knew that much. She really liked the rock music she created, as that was truthfully more than just means to rebel. That was also her.  
Fig Faeth was sure that she liked her friends, and that she liked being a rock musician. 

As her career as a rock musician actually began to take off, it didn’t make her feel any better about her sense of self. She was already playing a character in her real life, and creating an image of herself for her fans added another version of Fig that she had to be. She loved to play, she loved to perform, but in creating the frontwoman of her own band, she was beginning to lose herself once again. 

For now, she had some concrete answers about who she was—the Fig who was honest with her friends—and that was enough for her.  
At least it was until she met Ayda. 

Fig was never quiet about her habit of getting her kisses in with Dr. Asha, or any of the other times she’s gotten involved with a full adult while disguised as someone else. And sure, any licenced therapist or former-drug-dealer-turned-guidance-counselor lycanthrope would be able to tell her that her preference to be intimate with others while disguised absolutely is indicative of her fear of rejection competing against her desire for intimacy, but an honest visit to either would mean that she knows she has a problem, which was easier to ignore than to admit.  
But Ayda was different, and that was scary for Fig: the moment before she kissed her was the most terrified Fig had ever been, and she had fought a dragon.  
But kissing Ayda was nothing like Dr. Asha, or even that one time Kristen kissed her. She felt this in her whole person. Sparks were flying, and not just as phoenix fire. For the first time, it was impossible for her to be anything but honest.  
But knowing that Ayda liked her because she thought that she was cool felt like a lie itself, one that Fig didn’t have the heart to come clean about. 

Fig may not know who she is quite yet, but she hopes that she’s a fraction of the girl that Ayda believes she is.


End file.
